a note from mom's pink sharpie

When I first heard those words from Kelly, “It’s not good”, I went into shock. I felt like I couldn’t move, but I knew I needed to, my child was hurting and by her side I haven’t left. I’ve crumbled many of times, some in front of her and others in private. Besides the question of where do we go from here, the other big one in my head was “Why Kelly?”

In order to answer the first question, her father and I took to the computer researching breast cancer, the various cancer centers in the metropolitan area, and unfortunately a lot of the statistics that comes with doing research. After quite a bit of reading, I happened upon the story of a young woman much like Kelly, who battled breast cancer questioning why this was happening to her and her realization. It was after all this reading that I found that the real question is “Why not Kelly?” Don’t get me wrong, I still have trouble even saying my daughter has breast cancer, much less understanding why! She doesn’t fall within any of the high risk categories; i.e., over the age of 55, family history of breast cancer, personal history of breast or other cancer, chest radiation at young age, obesity, beginning your menstrual cycle before the age 12, or having a first child after 35. However, these are “risk factors” and for many women, like Kelly, diagnosed with breast cancer, they don’t have any of these. However, she does fall within the highest risk category of all, she is a woman!

Statistically speaking, women, by far, have a higher risk than men (290,000+ new all inclusive types of breast cancer diagnosis of women vs. 2,190 men estimated for 2012). Living in the United States places us at a 2% percent increase of breast cancer incidence between the ages of 15-79 than the rest of the world. White women have a higher incidence of all racial ethnicities; however, in Kelly’s age bracket (under 40), the incidence is higher in African Americans. About 5% to 10% of breast cancer cases are thought to be hereditary, resulting directly from gene defects (called mutations) inherited from a parent. Getting older, as we’ve all heard, places you at greater risk. However, this is where the statistics get a bit murky for me. According to the American Cancer Society, “About 1 out of 8 invasive breast cancers are found in women younger than 45, while about 2 of 3 invasive breast cancers are found in women age 55 or older.” Whereas the Susan G. Komen for the Cure notes, “Women in the United States have a ‘1 in 8’ (or about 12 percent) lifetime risk of getting breast cancer. This means that for every eight women in the U.S. who live to be age 85, one will be diagnosed with breast cancer during her lifetime.” The Komen website breaks it down further by showing the absolute risk of a woman developing breast cancer in the next year for a 30-34 year old would be 1 in 4,000 versus a 70-74 year old who would have a 1 in 226 risk of diagnosis. Too much math you might be saying and I would have to agree. After hours of trying to make sense of it all, I finally had to agree with the young woman whose story resonated so close to home, “Why not Kelly?” She is a woman who has become the 1 in 8 in her lifetime to develop breast cancer. Was she the 1 in 8 of women in our family; or her Brownie Troop; or her middle school softball team; or her high school French class, or her fraternity pledge class, or among her co-workers? Somehow I believe we need to adopt a more simple mathematical way of looking at breast cancer. No matter what our age, where we live, what our ethnicity, our family history, or even our personal history (genetics, rate of alcohol consumption, our weight, etc.), we, as women, all need to realize we could be the “ONE”! So really get to know your body, especially your breasts (this goes for you men out there as well, especially since there is no screening available for guys); learn at least one thing you can do to try and prevent cancer and let this lead to a second thing, and so on; and pass what you learn on to your family.  You've heard it before and you'll hear it many times in the future:  EARLY DETECTION is key, but steps towards PREVENTION are valuable too!

Now here are another couple of tidbits I’ve learned along Kelly’s journey so far! 

1) I’ve been getting annual mammograms since I was 40 (as every woman should), going to the same radiology center for let’s just say several years now! When Kelly had her mammogram she went to another radiology group, and it was a totally different experience. I will just say that in all those years, not once did a doctor come and talk to me right after having the mammogram; whereas, I noticed at the other center, every patient’s visit was followed up by a doctor consultation. I’m switching centers! 

2) Continuing on the subject of mammograms, you may be interested in this

TED talk regarding some new developments in this area coming in the not so distant future.

Be well,

Kimberly